Loss – “I thought I saw you today”

I am reblogging some previous posts on Isaiah’s anniversary month.

missiontomission

Isaiah’s friend “I thought I saw Isaiah today. I know that’s crazy but I almost ran up to the boy and throw my arms around him.”

It’s not hard for me to understand – it happens to me all the time.  I see boys that look like him and take a second look with my heart stopping a beat.  I see him in pictures.  There are moments that just strike a memory.  Maybe food, clothes, smells, an activity that we did together.  Sometimes it strikes laughter.  Sometimes it brings tears.  It always leaves a hollow pit in my stomach.

It’s a loss.  I know it’s normal.  I’m not suffering every day but there are constant reminders.  There are pictures around the house – with and without him.  Which ones hurt more?  I don’t know.

I still get angry.  Any loss hurts.  Suicide hurts more because it was intentional.  It could…

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