Tag: accusation


I was a youth leader for a number of years – junior high and senior high. We would have an outing and kids needed to get home. Parents weren’t always available and guess who got to drive the kids home? My advisors (and anyone in the field) said “Never take a girl home last. It doesn’t look good and it would only take one girl to make an accusation.” I agreed and tried to avoid ever being alone with a girl but I also asked the question, “In these times does it matter if I’m alone with a girl OR a boy?”  Bottom line is: If someone makes an accusation I am finished. I will never recover and no one will ever trust me again.

We are experiencing an onslaught of accusations like we have never seen before. If they are true accusations, the accused need to fall. It is good that women are finally feeling emboldened to speak out when treated wrong. No one should need to live under threats or improper behavior.

A couple of caveats:

1) We live in a society where we are innocent until proven guilty. We need to add another line to this statement “unless it is of a sexual nature and cannot be proven”.  I don’t have any answers to this dilemma. Sexual abuse typically happens in private where there are no witnesses. How does one “prove” they are abused?

2) Time limit. I was a youth leader in the 1980’s – thirty-some years ago. Is it fair for someone to make an accusation thirty years later? If they were hurt, yes. I would want justice. But again how can this be proven? Should there be a time limit on these?

3) It “appears” and I say “appears” with all caution that accusations sometimes come out once the accused becomes famous, wealthy, or successful.  Is it coincidence or does it “appear” that way?

4) Trial by media can be added to #3. Is it fair to publish that someone is “accused” when it has not been investigated, proven, or even questioned?

Last comments: I have a wife, two daughters and four granddaughters. If anyone hurt any of them or made unwarranted advances on them I would want to take action. You can define “take action” any way you want. If a man touched them I’d be furious. I would also be furious if someone made a false accusation against me.

Like it or not, this is a legal dilemma that we are facing. How can we save “innocence” on either side when “guilt” cannot be proven?

Job 31:34-36

34 because I so feared the crowd
    and so dreaded the contempt of the clans
    that I kept silent and would not go outside—

35 “Oh, that I had someone to hear me!
    I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me;
    let my accuser put his indictment in writing.